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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28381737">Trust and Fear</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/glamorfairchild/pseuds/glamorfairchild'>glamorfairchild</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV), The Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Last Hours Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Marriage, Pregnancy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:56:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,192</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28381737</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/glamorfairchild/pseuds/glamorfairchild</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecily finds out that she is pregnant but Gabriel fears that his children won‘t be healthy because of his father and the demon pox. Cecily doesn’t know how to tell him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cecily Herondale &amp; Gabriel Lightwood, Cecily Herondale/Gabriel Lightwood, Tessa Gray &amp; Will Herondale, Tessa Gray/Will Herondale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Trust and Fear</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I‘m kinda nervous to post this since I never wrote a fanfiction or oneshot before. I still hope you like and enjoy it.<br/>Have fun &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cecily Lightwood nervously stared at her belly, gently stroking it. Her period was two weeks late now. Gabriel and her were married for two years now and of course were children a topic they had discussed in the past but Cecily also sensed his fear that came with it.</p><p> Gabriel’s father had the demon pox and his brother and him were terrified to pass something on to their children. Even though Gideon’s daughters didn’t show any signs of a heredity Gabriel’s fear hasn’t gone away which made Cecily panic.<br/>
She had been asking herself what would happen if she were pregnant and how he would react a lot and now she didn’t know how to tell him. </p><p>“ Cecily my love I’m home!”<br/>
She flinched and went down the stairs to her husband.<br/>
“How was the patrol sweetheart?”<br/>
Cecily smiled and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.<br/>
“Boring.” He replied.<br/>
“There are no demons in London for almost a year now!” Gabriel sighed<br/>
“How are your brother, Sophie and the girls?”</p><p>Gabriel and his brother only had each other since their parents are dead and their sister hasn’t been talking to them since the incident. </p><p>His eyes immediately lighted up.<br/>
“They are great! The girls are growing up so fast and bring their parents a lot of sleepless nights.” Gabriel laughed but in Cecily’s mind the thoughts went back to their possible baby. </p><p>“That sounds great! They should come for tea soon!” She laughed but realized how unnatural it sounded and saw how Gabriel’s eyes focused her worried.<br/>
“Is everything all right my love?”<br/>
Cecily banished the thoughts from her mind which were floating over her like dark clouds.<br/>
”Of course sweetheart! It’s just a little headache, probably the weather!”<br/>
Gabriel relaxed a little. “You should go to bed to rest and I will bring you some tea!” </p><p>He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and went to the kitchen. She missed her chance telling him about the possible pregnancy and left the corridor, exhaustedly heading toward their bedroom. </p><p>The next morning Cecily was in their carriage on her way to the London Institute. She still hasn’t told Gabriel her guess and wanted to talk to Tessa for advice.<br/>
Her eyes saw the cold and white streets. It was November and the first snow had turned London in a little winter wonderland. While she saw the houses passing she got lost in her thoughts.</p><p>When she arrived at the institute Cecily became nervous. She knew that she could trust Tessa but she didn’t want her brother to know. She took a deep breath and knocked at the impressive door.</p><p>“Cecily it’s great to see you!Let’s have some tea and then you tell what’s troubling your mind.” Tessa’s welcoming and kind nature calmed her down.<br/>
Cecily liked the institute but she never considered it her home during the time she lived there unlike her brother. </p><p>“I can see that something is troubling you!” Tessa stroked her arm.<br/>
“Tessa you have to promise me to not tell my brother! He would freak out and I don’t want him to know it before Gabriel knows!” </p><p>The warlock implied her to sit down and Cecily realized that she was shaking.<br/>
“Cecily please tell me what is bothering you!” Tessa looked worried.<br/>
“I’m pregnant!” She blurted out.<br/>
The brunette’s face lighted up and she hugged her sister in law. “But this is great!” She laughed. </p><p>“You don’t understand!” Cecily cried out. “Gabriel and I discussed it so many times and each time I saw his fear to be responsible if something happens to our children because of his father!” Her blue eyes were filled with tears. “I don’t want him to be unhappy!” She whispered. </p><p>“Oh sweetheart!” Tessa hugged her again. The younger Herondale who was always so fearless and strong was suddenly broken and full of sadness.</p><p> “I don’t think that he would ever be unhappy with you!” Tessa smiled and wiped away her tears.<br/>
“Cecily look at me! Gabriel loves you unconditionally and believe me he wants children too. You have seen how much he loves his nieces and he would love his own child even more! Gideon’s children haven’t shown any signs and Gabriel knows that!” </p><p>Cecily smiled sadly. “Tatianas son is very weak and ill.”<br/>
Tessa looked at her softly. “That doesn’t mean anything! Will told me that when you were a little child you were ill quit often and look at you now. Gabriel and Gideon are not cursed or something! You two deserve happiness too.”<br/>
Her blue eyes lighted up and the tears stopped running down her cheeks.<br/>
“Not telling him only makes it worse!” </p><p>“Do you think Jem could confirm it first? I don’t want to tell him and then I’m actually not pregnant.” She whispered. “Of course we can go to the silent city right now!” </p><p>Cecily was nervous on her way home. She got the proof for her pregnancy in the silent city and wanted to tell her husband when she was home.<br/>
She opened the door and went to the living room where her husband was sitting in a chair near the fireplace reading. He looked up and his face was light up by a bright smile. </p><p>“You are back my love.”<br/>
Cecily smiled back and walked to him. She sat down on his lap and ran her fingers through his hair.<br/>
“How was your tea with Tessa?” He whispered and kissed her cheek.<br/>
“Gabriel we need to talk!” She blurted out. His face switched to a worried look.<br/>
Her eyes began to fill up with tears. </p><p>“Cecily what’s wrong?” He took her hands and kissed them softly. Timidly she took his hand and placed it on her belly. He glanced up to her with a confused look in his eyes and then stared at his hand on her belly. </p><p>“Are you telling me right now that you are pregnant?” He started crying and kissed her.<br/>
“I wasn’t sure how you would react.” She whispered. “I was afraid you wouldn’t want it.” </p><p>“My love what are you talking about?”<br/>
She took a deep breath. “I know how afraid you are to pass something terrible on to our children because of your father.”<br/>
She averted her eyes and he turned her face back to meet his. </p><p>“Cecily, Gideon and I have talked about this and his daughters are healthy. I don’t want to sacrifice a happy family because of my fear.” He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed away her tears. A big smile appeared on Cecily’s face and she kissed him back. </p><p>“You do know that we have to tell my brother right?” The younger Herondale sibling bursted out laughing.<br/>
“He will kill me!”<br/>
She couldn’t stop laughing and he looked at her with a serious look.<br/>
“My love I’m not joking! He will chase me through London!”<br/>
“I’m sure he won’t because he loves me too much and Tessa will stop him!”<br/>
Gabriel couldn’t keep a straight face and bursted out laughing too. </p><p>“I’m going to be a father.” He whispered.<br/>
“Yes!” She replied “You will be an amazing dad.”</p>
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